[分享] 2003MTV Movie Awards的搞笑短片

AlexPro

去年的是魔戒，今年......the WINNER is~~~~Matrix 2!!!!
  
不過我覺得去年的比較好笑XD  
  
這次的男主角是演美國派、進化特區、防彈武僧的痞子西恩威廉史考特跟N'Sync的歌手Justin Timberlake  
  
那個演造物主的好像是在王牌大賤諜1,2中演Dr.Evil的中東人手下。  
  
下載點：http://codematrixusa2.free.fr/reloadedparody.wmv  
  
                http://download.online.sh.cn/show.php?soft_id=21287  
  
以下是劇本：  
  
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Seann William Scott and Justin Timberlake and two of their lady friends are walking in a hallway about to enter their apartment.  
  
Scott: In a few seconds, we'll be sippin on some Chris(?) and watchin the MTV movie awards. (Pulls out key and starts to unlock door)  
  
(Girls giggle. Scott can't get the door to unlock. Timberlake winks at the girls.)  
  
Timberlake: Quit playin around, Sean.  
  
Scott: I'm not, dude. My key won't fit.  
  
Keymaker: You must be the ones!  
  
Timberlake: Oh cool! It's the super.  
  
Keymaker: Actually, I'm the keymaker. (Unlocks door) Don't worry; you'll be inside in just a moment.  
  
(Door opens and an orange glow is seen coming from it.)  
  
Scott: Awesome! Thanks!  
  
(Scott and Timberlake look through the door and gape. They turn into matrix code and disappear through the door. The girls gasp.)  
  
Keymaker: (Blows on key and looks at girls) What's happening hot stuffs?  
  
(We see Zion. The Rave has started. The guy with the dreadlocks swings his hair back and the sweat flies off it. Then we see Scott and Timberlake get hit with it.)  
  
Scott: Ugh! Dude!  
  
Timberlake: (Wipes off face) Where the hell are we?!  
  
Andy Dick holding lots of glow sticks and wearing a Dr. Seuss hat: We're in Zion Baby!  
  
Scott: What is this place?  
  
Dick: Duh! It's obviously an underground city where the last remaining humans live and the robots are coming to kill us. Doesn't that make you just want to party? Yeah! (Starts dancing again)  
  
Timberlake: Dude let's get out of here.  
  
Scott: I don't know man, these girls are pretty hot! (We see the line of girls in an orgy) Check it out you can totally see their nipples!  
  
Dick: Oh my God! There's Morpheus! (We see Morpheus about to give a speech and the crowd is cheering) Woo! I love you Morpheus!  
  
Morpheus: Zion! Hear me!  
  
Dick: He's having a huge orgy at his place later; at LEAST, that's what many of us have heard.  
  
Morpheus: It is true what many of you have heard.  
  
(Crowd cheers.)  
  
Dick: Yes!!! Morpheus, what can we expect at this orgy?  
  
Morpheus: Machines.  
  
(Crowd is silent.)  
  
Timberlake: Man, I'm out.  
  
Scott: I dunno; sounds kinda kinky! Heh heh!  
  
(Timberlake pulls his ear and drags him off.)  
  
Dick: I-I-I'll see you guys there! And bring plenty of lube!  
  
(We are at the back doors of the matrix and we see Timberlake and Scott wearing Neo and Trinity outfits respectively. Timberlake giggles.)  
  
Scott: What?  
  
Timberlake: Nothin.  
  
Scott: Great--an infinite hallway of doors.  
  
Timberlake: One of these HAS to lead back to your apartment.  
  
Scott: You know what? You try that one; I need to use this one. (We see Scott walk into a men's room. Timberlake opens a door and we see Neo talking to the Oracle on the bench.)  
  
Neo: I see Trinity and something happens. Something bad. She starts to fall, and then I wake up.  
  
Wanda Sykes as The Oracle: Now, that's ****ed up! (Neo looks at her then behind him as Timberlake walks in. Timberlake sits down on the bench next to Sykes.)  
  
Timberlake: I'm so sorry to interrupt you guys but I'm really lost.  
  
Sykes: Wait a minute! You that boy from *NSync. What happened to your gerry (?) curls, man? That was a good look. Yeah, that was hot. (Turns to Neo.) You know them boys, right?  
  
Neo: I've never heard of them.  
  
Sykes: You never heard of *NSync?  
  
Neo: No.  
  
Sykes: Those boys can dance. (Turns to Timberlake.) C'mon man, show him your moves.  
  
Timberlake: Do I have to?  
  
Sykes: I'm the oracle, dammit. (Timberlake gives an "oh well" look and starts doing the robot.)  
  
Neo: If I had to guess, I'd say you were a program from the machine world.  
  
Timberlake: Nah, man. I'm just doin the robot. Here, you should try it. (Neo looks up at him as Timberlake stands up and starts to do the robot again.)  
  
Sykes: Yeaaaahhh! Work it! C'mon, Neo. Get in there, man. Do the robot!  
  
Neo: Why?  
  
Sykes: C'mon, man. You da one, you da one. You can do it all!  
  
Neo: No.  
  
Sykes: C'mon, man! Doomo arigato, Mr. Roboto!  
  
Timberlake still dancing: You can do the robot with JT.  
  
Neo: What if I can't? What happens if I fail?  
  
Timberlake: Ok, dude. Lighten up for real. It's just the robot.  
  
Neo: No. I can't do that. I won't.  
  
Sykes: Well, hell! I will! (Stands up and starts dancing with Timberlake.) Talk to me, boy! Don't be scared!  
  
Timberlake: Oh god!  
  
Sykes: C'mon, do the part; do the naked part.  
  
(Scott walks in dressed like Smith.)  
  
Scott: Mr. Timberlake.  
  
Timberlake: Mr. William Scott.  
  
Sykes: You that guy who got peed on in American P-- (Scott sticks his hand in Sykes and starts to clone her.) Hmmm! Ooo! You hittin the spot! How big is your fist? Good Lord! Hey! Wait a minute man! This **** is dry clean only!  
  
Scott: You'll like being a dude.  
  
Scott clone: I do.  
  
(Scotts gather around Timberlake.)  
  
Timberlake: That is a **** load of Stifflers!  
  
(All Scotts crack their necks in unison. Timberlake puts on his sunglasses and does the "bring it on" hand motion. His #1 hit starts playing and he starts dancing to it while beating up the Scotts. More Scotts come in to fight. Sound of a record scratching as there is a close up on Timberlake. He does a jump in mid air which turns into a slo mo kick. He hits one of the Scotts who in turn accidentally punches another Scott. Scott who got punched grabs the one who hit him by the collar and punches him repeatedly while saying...)  
  
Scott: Stop hitting yourself.  
  
(One of the Scotts fart.)  
  
Scott who was punching: Who farted?  
  
(All break out into laughter.)  
  
One of the clones: Seans! Focus! (All stand up straight and stop laughing.) Let's get Mr. Timberlake. (All jump on top of Timberlake like the Smiths did and yell "Sean pile!" as they do it. Close up on the Sean right on top of Timberlake. He licks his finger and starts sticking it in JTs ear.)  
  
Scott: Wet willy, Mr. Timberlake.  
  
(Timberlake screams and throws all the Scotts off him. Walks up to a Scott and punches him hard in the face.)  
  
Scott: Ow! (He is back in his Trinity outfit and all the Scotts are gone.) Justin, you really hit me! (Pushes Timberlake.) That is so not cool! (They get into a little pushing match. The camera backs up to show us that we were watching them on the Architect's moniters. A hand clicks the pen to return all the screens to Neo. Camera pans around the room to show Scott and Timberlake next to Neo. The Architect's chair wheels around to show Will Farrell as The Architect. Picture -> )  
  
Farrell: Hello, I've been waiting for you three.  
  
Neo: Who are you?  
  
Timberlake: Yeah! Who are you?  
  
Farrell: I am The Architect. But please, call me Larry.  
  
Scott: Hey, Larry!  
  
Timberlake: Lar-RY! Ha ha!  
  
Farrell: I created the matrix and several popular video games including Cubert and Dig Dug.  
  
Timberlake: Remember that?  
  
Scott: Yeah yeah!  
  
Farrell: I did not create Frogger, but I came up with the name for it. Can you believe they wanted to call it "Highway Crossing Frog?"  
  
Scott: Huh! That is so lame!  
  
Farrell: I know. That's the lamest thing I've ever heard of. Highway Crossing Frog!  
  
Neo: Why am I here?  
  
Scott: Yeah, why are we here?  
  
Farrell: Is there an echo in here? (Is there an echo in here?...) The MTV Movie Awards are a systemic anomaly inherent to the programming to the matrix. Although the transport process has altered your consciousness, you irrevocably remain human. Ergo, concordantly, vis a vis... You know what? I have no idea what the hell I'm saying. I just thought it would make me sound cool.  
  
Neo: You haven't answered my question.  
  
Farrell: You're feeling a little vulnerable right now so you just need to chill out. Hmm? Can you do that? Appreciate that. Thank you. Now, origianally Neo was the chosen one to host the show but hosting is a full time commitment and he's been a little distracted lately. (Trinity pops up on moniters.)  
  
Neo: Trinity.  
  
Farrell: See what I'm talking about? That's why I brought in Seann and Justin because you, my friend, are completely pussy whipped.  
  
Seann and Justin: OHHhhH!!! *Whip crack sound*  
  
Neo: Bull****. (Neos on screens: Bull****!)  
  
Farrell: Watch the sass, Captain Sassy Pants.  
  
Scott: Yeah, you're kinda spazzin out dude.  
  
Neo: You haven't answered my question.  
  
Farrell: Yes I did. You see when--  
  
Neo: You haven't answered my question.  
  
Farrell: I'm trying! You just need to let ME talk.  
  
Neo: Why am I here?  
  
Farrell: Mmmmm! Would you shut UP?!  
  
Neo: You won't let it--  
  
Farrell: No, YOU won't let it! I'm the one who talks! K? Mouth shut, ears open!  
  
Neo: You haven't ans--  
  
Farrell: You do NOT want to see me get out of this chair! Ergo open your yapper one more time and I'm gonna architect...a world of pain ALL OVER your candy ***! ERGO!!! VIS A VIS!!!  
  
Neo: This is about--  
  
Farrell: CONCORDANTLY!!! (Regroups.) Justin.  
  
Timberlake: Yeah?  
  
Farrell: I apologize. I don't usually like to use my big voice.  
  
Timberlake: That's alright dawg. Just tell us how we get to the movie awards.  
  
Farrell: There are two doors. The door on your left, leads sissy boy here back to his *****. Uh-huh. What up G? You can't handle it. The door on your right, leads you to the 2003 MTV Movie Awards. (Scott and Timberlake nod together.) And the mini door is for Muffin to go out and piddle. (We see a cat exit through a doggy door.) To Neo: What? Uh-uh. (Snapping fingers to get his attention.) Uh-uh. Hey. No. (Smirks and looks at Neo.) You are bizarre.  
  
(Scott and Timberlake walk to the right door.)  
  
Scott: Thanks, Lare.  
  
Farrell: Don't mention it. Oh and hey, go host the **** out of that show.  
  
Timberlake: Beum! (Both exit in the same glow as before.)  
  
(Neo walks to the left door.)  
  
Neo: If I were you--  
  
Farrell: Bite your tongue. Bite it!  
  
Neo: I would hope that we don't meet again.  
  
Farrell: Why'd you say that? I told you to shut up. (Runs out of his chair and tackles Neo through the door while shouting: I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP!)  

parrot

真是亂搞....
等等要去看霹靂嬌娃, 不知道明年的搞笑是不是用這部
  
Parrot